Dennis's day with the Black Zodiac
by Mentalasylumpatient13
Summary: Babysitting, crazy people, Barbie band aids, whining ghosts, self help books and Ryan's odd request. Yep, just another day at the Kriticos house.


**A.N: Just a little humor. Enjoy! (First Thirteen ghost fanfiction. Be nice)**

**KATHUNK**

_Scritch scratch scritch scratch_

**KATHUNK**

_Scritch scratch scritch scratch_

**KATHUNK**

_Scritch scratch scritch scratch_

"Jackal?"

". . . Yeah?"

"Shut up."

"HAHAHAHAHAHA"

**KATHUNK**

_Scritch scratch scritch scratch_

_SCREEECH_

"DENNIS HE'S DOING IT AGAIN!" The Torn prince cried. There was a defining silence before the sound of footsteps came from down the hall.

A man with dark hair and devilish features appeared and walked down towards where the Torn prince laid, locked up nice and snug.

"Who's doing what?" Dennis inquired. But he already knew the answer to that question.

"Jackals being annoying again and making me mad. Dennis, shut him up!" The Torn prince whined. Dennis sighed and shook his head. Why him? Why always him?

He didn't like it, but these ghosts were required to stay in this house. He had formally asked another worker to watch them, but he had said something about a mother and a chicken farm. He didn't really understand. Cyrus needed these ghosts in order to open the eye of hell. Dennis knew Cyrus didn't expect them to be co-operative and had asked Dennis to watch them, but they could be a little more mature!

It was like a 24/7 babysitting job with these ghosts. It was like having 13 kids, not 13 ghosts! Royce mad constant complaints about the other ghosts, Billy always whined that he wanted out and that he wanted to play Cowboys and Indians, at least Jean was decent, Dana, well, Dana was just emo. Susan, on the other hand, was a real slut! She even hit on Ryan! Now that was an amusing day. Poor Ryan had been flustered, since he was used to woman screaming and begging, not flirting.

George wasn't so bad, once you got past his reasonably enurving apperance. Really enurving. . . , Jimmy, well, the only thing he did was complain about his cellophane wrappings and how it was so hot in his cell. Harold was someone Dennis barely paid attention to. He still shuddered on the thought of how hard it was to get all that blubber into the cell, and stuff a small woman in there to. It was nearly impossible to carry, and 17 workers alone had to do it! Margaret ,well, you could carry the woman in a suitcase and she'd be all for it, as long as she knew where her preciouse Harold was. They were a strange pair. Horace, as imposing as he was, barely said a word. And when he did, it was a surprise to hear how calm his voice was, counting for someone his size and capacity. The Isabelle, well she was just scary.

When she looked at him, it was like her eyes were peering into his soul. . . seeing everything. . . his darkest secrets. . . it was pretty creepy.

And then there was Ryan. He had been a tough one to catch. He had had this enjoyment of using Cyrus's workers as scratching posts and targets. He also enjoyed knawing, snarling, spitting, kicking, slapping, punching, verbally insulting, and screaming at them. Many of Cyrus's workers had quit after they managed to just briefely subdue him and stuff him in a cell before his antics started all over again. Ryan now had this enjoyment of pitting the ghosts against each other, screaming out random and odd stuff, and singing songs that were enough to drive anyone nuts.

"Yes Royce, I'll get right on it." Dennis said. He turned and walked until he reached the infamous 'Jackals Cell' (Which was clearly written in black marker across the glass, privy to Ryan himself discovering the magic of the sharpy)

Dennis stared at Ryan, and when Ryan noticed him staring, he stared back. This little staring compotition went on for about 5 minutes before Dennis finally blinked.

"HAHA! YOU BLINKED! I WIN I WIN LA LA LA LA LA LA! YOUR A LOSER HA HA HA HA! I AM DOMINENT!" Ryan yelled as he paraded around his cell like some newly elected ruler. Dennis shook his head.

"Ryan, if you don't shut up, there's going to be serious consequences." Dennis warned. Ryan stopped parading and looked at Dennis skeptically. The he walked forward and pressed his caged head against the glass.

"Whatcha going to do old man? Set Dana on me? Let Royce have free swings? Nothing that you do can stop me! You hear me? NOTHING! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Shortly after that, Ryan fellinto a fit of giggles. And thats when an idea struck Dennis. One so brilliant, he couldn't believe it was his!

"I'm going to town. Be back in 2 hours." He exclaimed loudly.

"But you still haven't shut Ryan up!" Royce whined.

"I'll buy you a base-ball. Will that make it better?" Dennis asked. Royce stopped swinging and contemplated for a moment.

"Okay!" He said, grinning brightly.

"While your out, can you buy me a new knife?" Dana asked.

"And I want an indian!" Billy cried.

"I want a pair of scissors." Jimmy mumbled.

"Can I have a cellphone?" Susan asked.

"I don't need anything." Jean sighed.

"I want a key!" Isabelle yelled. "Preferably one that can open stocks!"

"Can my Harold have a new bib?" Margeret whispered.

" I want a giant pair of tweezers." George bellowed.

"I want a bandaid!" Horace said.

"I WANT A PONY!" Ryan shrieked. Everyone fell silent and turned to look at where his cell was.

"What?" He asked innocently. "Is it to much to ask for ONE pony? But if you can, will you get my a magical flying unicorn?" Dennis stared at him.

"Um, I'll check into that. I'm sure they have, er, at least one around." Dennis said. He sighed and walked upstairs. Time to go shopping.

...

3 hours later Dennis returned to where the ghosts were.

"You said 2 hours! Not 3!" Billy whined. Dennis shook his head.

"Alright then, Royce, here's your baseball." Dennis said. He mumbled something in latin and the glass cell holding Royce morphed until there was a hole in it large enough to fit a baseball. Dennis stuffed it in and mumbled another incantation, so it sealed up.

" Dana, I couldn't find knife, so I got you a book." Dennis said. After mumbling the same incantation, he stuffed the book into her cell.

"_**Self help: The guide to make you a confident and happy person.**_" Dana read. She turned and looked at Dennis angrily.

"Happy hanukkah!" Dennis said.

"It isn't Haunikkah! It's the middle of summer!" Dana cried.

"Okay, moving on! Billy, there were no indians, so I got you. . . war paint!" Dennis said brightly as he pulled out several bottles of bright paint. Billy scowled at the sight, but reluctantly excepted them anyway. After sealing his cell, Dennis quickly moved on.

"Um, here's your scissors Jimmy." Dennis muttered, handing him a pair of scissors. Jimmy's torso crawled forward and silently accepted them, his head making no sound at all.

"Yeesh, not even a thank you?" Dennis mumbled.

" Susan, I didn't get you anything because Cyrus say's you are not permitted a cell phone." Dennis said. Susan scowled and ngrily kicked the glass wall.

"SCREW CYRUS!" She shrieked.

"Pilgramess, I couldn't find a stock key but I'll keep looking." Dennis said. The pilgramess nodded and returned to walking around her cell.

"Margeret, here is your Harolds bib." Dennis siad, handing her a massive bib. Margeret reached out a dainty hand and graciously excepted his gift. Dennis quickly moved on. He couldn't stand the site of Harold.

" George, here's your giant tweezers." Dennis said, handing him a large pair of garden pliars. George took them and shook his head, as though Dennis was a shame.

"Horace, here's your bandaids." Dennis threw him around 90 boxes of bandaids. Horace opened one and began placing bandaids on his wounds. Then he noticed something.

"Dennis, why are these Barbie?" He growled.

"The only ones in stock." Dennis squeked. He quickly moved on to Ryan, who had been making ALOT of noise.

"I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES. I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES, BUM BUM BUM. . . " Dennis quickly inturrupted before Ryan could continue his ear shattering noise.

"Oh Ryan. You want your present?" Dennis asked. This quickly caught the Jackals attention.

"YES YES YES! WHAT IS IT WHAT IS IT?" Ryan asked, jumping up and down and clapping his hands like an excited school boy.

"Alright, here it is. . . "

**A.N: Cliffhanger! I wonder what Dennis got for Ryan. . .**

**Will Ryan get his magical pegasus?**

**Will Dana read the self help book?**

**What will Billy do to his war paint?**

**How does Horace look in Barbie bandages?**

**And will Dennis finally get a BREAK?**

**Stay tuned, and find out in the next chapter. . . **

**Until then, REVIEW!**


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